F.A. Part II: Crush Flirting

July 28, 2003

Now that we're liberated, admitted flirts, perhaps it's time to take stock of our flirting techniques. Recall, that while flirting may be fun, it plays a leading role in the survival of our species. Let's get serious about flirting then and focus on flirting that would help us to proliferate human kind. In particular, consider what you do when you engage in Crush Flirting-That is, flirting with women or men that you're attracted to and want to date. What's in your repertoire-a special look, bushy-eye-browed wink, or mischievous smile? Whatever may be in your bag of tricks, you may want to incorporate some of the following basic principles of Crush Flirting into your flirting inventory.

After culling the research data, I've pinpointed some key tips to Crush Flirting. According to male and female "expert flirts," an essential component of successful Crush Flirting is for men and women to flex their sexuality. Experts tell me that for girls, this means something as subtle as the tossing of the hair, a cattish glance, or an alluring posture (I'm thinking that breasts could play a big role here). Similarly, experts advise that guys display their masculinity and physicality. Sitting up straight, shoulders back, with the chest just ever so slightly puffed out are crucial, according to a reputedly practiced female flirt.

Whether male or female, amateurs as well as professional flirts also assert that some "unsolicited" touching is vital to successful Crush Flirting. One of the best ways to let someone know that you're interested in him/her is to engage in "unsolicited," "unintentional," "uninvited" touching. For example, some of my female friends really like it when a guy stands slightly behind them and brushes their back with his body. Here, a hand on the arm, a touch on the waist, or head on the shoulder could work wonders for male or female Crush Flirters. At the same time, the slippery slope of "unsolicited" touching in Crush Flirting is the potential for offense (Again, I'm thinking that this could have something to do with breasts). Some "uninvited" touching could easily move things from Crush Flirting to Creepy Flirting and might very well garner slaps and dirty looks instead of affection. Engage then, in "unsolicited" touching at your own risk.

Perhaps one of the most important principles in Crush Flirting, however, is to actually flirt with the people that you find attractive. Sounds simple enough, but we flirts often do not flirt with the women and men we want to date. Others calls this Chicken Flirting. We chicken flirts intentionally do not flirt with people we have crushes on. We intentionally engage in Friendly Flirting or Unintentional Flirting with anyone and anything but the person we like. Here, every Jack, Jill, and Joe receives our attention except the person we're attracted to. My personal favorite and well-practiced trick is to flirt with "safe" people-married people, old people, toddlers, etc. I'll chat and laugh it up with anyone-from acquaintances to strangers on the street-until the day is dead. But put me in front of a guy I'm attracted to and I'm hard-pressed to get two sentences out. Then it's run away, ignore and avoid the guy for the rest of the time. Yes, pretty successful Crush Flirting, I tell you-Treat the person that you have a crush on just like your hated, avowed worst enemy.

Crush Flirters take note: 1) Flirt with people you like, 2) Work the sexuality (e.g., breasts), 3) Flirt with people you like, 4) "unsolicited" touching (for the most part) is good, and 5) Flirt with people you like. You heard me. Get flirting.

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