Patience is Sexy

Comments from (not) Kirk, Jess and Mark below...

May 22, 2003

Let's continue our little jaunt in make-believe and pretend some more that I have things to contribute to the dating life. Often, when we think about people being attractive or sexy we tend to limit ourselves to conventional understandings of attractiveness or sexiness. Height, weight, muscle tone and good looks are the usual standards for sex appeal - whether the person is female or male. Here, Victoria's Secret and Abercrombie and Fitch models personify sexiness. Muscles, breasts, jaw lines and piercing, smoky gazes define "sexy". Such a definition not only excludes the majority of the world population - but is also utterly unimaginative and boring. Rather than continue with such a mundane understanding, let's consider other forms of sexiness.

For example, the other day a friend asked me about what attracts me to guys (People, let's stop this line of inquiry). And honestly, one of the first things that came to mind was driving. Yes, driving. I think people who drive well - who know their way around, can control their speed so they don't have to ride the brakes, merge smoothly, etc. - are extremely sexy. Good driving isn't just a good quality to have, but it could also be a really sexy characteristic. Hopelessly peculiar thinking you say? Or is it ground breaking thought? I say the latter - and some (very intelligent) people seem to agree.

I've been doing some "research" at work (Lots of "work" getting done at my agency, I tell ya). After they stopped laughing at my driving example, my coworkers came up with a slew of sexy characteristics that are often overlooked. For instance, my guy friends tell me that they find smart women sexy. Women who aren't "prissy" or high maintenance are sexy. Weird women are sexy. Women who don't mind getting dirty (As in dirt dirty - Not bad hygiene or Kirk K. dirty) are sexy. Patience is sexy (Yep). And politically liberal women are sexy. The gals claim that men who wear good shoes are sexy. Men who can cook are sexy. Good dancers are sexy. Men who drink and can handle liquor (not talking about beer or "cocktails" here) are sexy (Indeed. Amen. Hallelujah). Men with long strides are sexy. Musical or artistic talent is sexy. And men who know/are in politics are sexy.

Alcohol preference, patience, politics and shoes - All things that can be sexy about people. SEXY! Sure, there were a few times when I had to ask my friends if they knew what "sexy" meant (shoes and politics?!?) - And they assured me that they did. Of course these attributes of sexiness are a bit odd - But that's the point - Think beyond the ordinary! So if you're looking for love, perhaps you should reconsider what's attractive or sexy. Take a closer look at that gal or guy who doesn't fit standard (ho-hum) ideas of sexiness. You might just find the love of your life behind something like dirt.

Excellent parallel parking - Yeah, that's hot.

P.S. I might add (and any of you that have driven with him know this to be true) that Pitter was voted "worst driver" in his high school senior class. Interpret that as you may!

May 23, 2003

I thinc gud gramer and splelling is sexy. - Mark

May 23, 2003

What about the 'icks'?????

i know that i can't possibly be the only woman out there that suffers from the 'icks' when it comes to men. hot bods, shoes are sexy indeed, and cooking....whew! but there is this one little problem....when there is a man that i find sexy and feel that i would do whatever it takes to get sexy with them, and when actually given the chance, i suddenly get the 'ick syndrome'. (mfg, you know what i'm talking about) i start thinking really disgusting thoughts about the individual, like what they do in the bathroom, or what they smell like after a run around calhoun. and then festers the 'what ifs', what if he's a really bad kisser, what if he tries to put things where they don't belong, what if he has 6 toes, what if his mother is his fathers sisters cousins aunt???? i have discussed this with most of my friends and its about 50/50 as far as similar experiences. but the other 50% is convinced that i live for sabotaging anything good that may try to sneak into my life. do men get the icks? any advice on how i can prevent this from happening? am i alone?

Jess E.

May 28, 2003

What is “Kirk K." dirty? I happen to think that his thought process, which resembles that of a 16-year old boy, is refreshing and keeps us all young. I often find that he says the comments or jokes that I wanted to say but was too embarrassed to do so. Plus, who doesn’t love potty humor?

- Anonymous (this definitely is not Kirk K)

May 28, 2003

I would like to thank “Anonymous” for supporting me. I believe that I am often misunderstood, like many great minds, and would like to defend myself. I believe the term “dirty” paints a very bad picture of me and my ideals. Is a person “dirty” for appreciating the female form, in all of its many shapes and sizes? Is it “dirty” then for a person to freely express themselves, through jokes or comments, about this? And then, is it “dirty” for a person to collect images of these female forms for him/her to look at and/or watch for their enjoyment for many, many hours (in intervals) while devouring a bag of dill pickle chips and a case of Old Milwaukee?

I think we all know the answer to these questions. I believe that I deserve an apology.

- Kirk K

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