Comments from Molly below...
May 13, 2003
Let's pretend for a moment that I'm some sort of a dating guru (yes Pat, stretch your imagination a bit). For many in the Geeks family, dating is a dinosaur of the far-away past. You've been in long-term relationships with high school or college sweethearts for countless years. A look at the GOTW archives reveals a glut of engagement and wedding news. You're even buying homes, having babies - becoming genuine, certifiable "adults" (Yowzers!). Yet, there's a significant number of the Geeks fan base that are living la vida single. Some are recently single, others have been single for a while, yet others are just in the infant stages of dating.
Whether you're in couple-dom or single-dom, I think we can all agree that dating is a little scary - if not downright petrifying. It requires us to make ourselves vulnerable and risk our heart and pride. And it doesn't get any easier as we get older. The older we get, "natural" or "easier" situations to meet people become less common. Unlike high school and college, we can't meet or hang out with each other in classes or dorms. These days, dating requires a bit more initiative and innovation than sitting next to each other in Organic Chemistry.
Before you singles freak out, let me just say that first, there's plenty of time to find a significant; and second, there are single people who live incredibly full and happy lives. My point then is not to say that being single is a bad thing. Rather, given the scariness of dating, it's come to my attention that there are some single people with exceptional, undaunted courage (Great book - ask Bill).
Just think about the amount of nerve it takes to put yourself out there, to tell someone you're interested in him/her. One of my guy friends asserts that asking people out isn't so scary if you see it as a sort of a gift to them. Even if you're turned down, you'd feel good knowing that you've paid the person one of the highest compliments one could give or receive. Plus, by taking the initiative, you're taking control of an important aspect of your life.
In these high-tech, super-information highway times, a couple of my girl friends recently took matters into their own hands by not merely going to the internet personals. These modern-day gals opted for SPEED DATING. That's right. They signed up for one of those 8 Minute Date events. Here, men and women meet at a place, mingle, have cocktails (if there ever was a reason for alcohol, this would be it), and then go on 6-8 "dates" lasting 8 minutes each. After the dates, they put down the names of the people they'd like to see again. If all goes well, they'll get a few "matches" and have the opportunity to go out again.
The other week Pat and I had dinner with one of these friends who signed up and talked (okay, maybe forced) her into going on some "practice dates" with us. Each of the practice dates lasted for only four minutes (yes, we timed it) - But Jiminy Christmas, were they HARD. In the end we decided that 1) you shouldn't talk about affirmative action (or politics in general) while speed dating (yeah, that date lasted all of two minutes); 2) personas from the Definity Health IT department will get you nowhere; 3) it's "inappropriate" to crawl across the table during a speed date; 4) it's a good game to play with friends over/after dinner; and 5) we'd never, ever sign up for those 8 Minutes of Torture (After all, we're very bashful, retiring people).
Indeed, dating takes guts (And by
guts, I mean homo sapiens may very well become extinct if it were up to me).
So hooray for you brave souls! Keep up the good work. For those less inclined,
perhaps it's time that you get out there. Be the change! Just know that neither
PB nor GOTW may be held accountable for any heartache or misery. However, we
will gladly take credit for happily-ever-after results.
May 14, 2003
As much as I enjoyed reading your article on speed dating, I couldn't help but notice how "removed" you were from the whole idea. And yes, Bic, you are "one of us". I count myself in the category of singles who live an incredibly full and happy life...so why is it so hard to date? Moreover, why was it so hard to even practice dating?
Dating in general is almost out of vogue, if you will. So many of my friends who have significants didn't go through much of a dating process. They met, they flirted, and poof, instant boyfriend/girlfriends. Others were friends for quite awhile and by the time they got together, dating was irrelevant because they already knew each other and felt comfortable.
So, as we get older and supposedly wiser, why does dating get harder? Yes, I've put myself out there...yes, I've been rejected and yes, I've even rejected a few guys, so nothing new there. I'm looking for some good advice from you Geeks out there who think of yourselves as expert daters. (Bic, that doesn't include you:) So despite having the guts, what else can you teach us singles about dating?
If you have any comments, e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org